I Told Yall I Was Goen Off . . .

yesterday started out good , then went to bad , then to worse . it started good & i soon became the outcast ; the 5th wheel , ironically at my own house . i tried to escape it ; but a good friend wudnt have it . after some brief conversation , things went back to being the same . a defense mechanism of mine i guess is to run ; to go & be alone , to think things over . after that , my house went from " my house " , to " public pool / play area wit free food " . not that i have a problem if its my friends , but wen random people & people I've never seen before get thrown it , i don't dig it . with 24 people in all including myself , i soon get drowned back into the cut , once agen . with myself being forced to talk to the only other person i cud ; my brother . as some of yu kno , me & my brother have no type of " brothership " or friendship , whatsoever , so talken to him wasn't the easiest thing to do . & im not the type of guy to raise my voice as all of yu kno ; so my mind grew weaker & i cudnt handle it much longer . i juss wanted to close my eyes & for everything to be gone ; but life doesn't work like that . then wen people decide to elect themselves to drink beer / liquor from out yur fridge & comeback half tipsy 20 mins later acten up , it makes me think twice . an obvious divide was drawn between me & everyone else , which made even my family ask me if i even knew these people or not . tryen to include me in 1 thing ( yea count it ) made me think if it was juss kus they felt pity for me . towards the end of the night , things gradually got better , but it still remained the only people who really knew me or gave enuff effort to push thru my angered exterior , were A , K , T , & M . like demi lovato , i Dont Forget & im not that type of person to forgive that easily & if yu really kno me , yu kno shit really gets to me . the time to drive kelli home came & while driving out , i didn't get any type of " thanks " or " bye " , or at least not that i herd . grimey . i got over it kus i was in my comfort zone ; driving , far away . returning home , all still posted , clearly see me ; nothen once agen , besides one . fool me once , shame on yu ; fool me twice , shame on me . & i was there for a good couple mins . grimey . shit gets to me . i always thought i shud get a blog ; & the thing is , nobody gotta kno about it either , juss as long as i get shit out there . but the reason why i put this out here is kus i want it to be seen . out of about 20 people , i thank 4 for being authentic ( A , K , T & M ) & of course my long distance ones ( L & GR ) . am i being a lil to harsh ? well maybe now i finally found that IDGAF attitude I've been searching for . the only good thing that came out of today is that , me & my bro established a foundation for a friendship . but now this morning , things went back to the same " fck yu joey " attitude . i think i got everything out . but i kno after this , ill probably be left wit any kind of bros as a result :-/ . but anyways thanks for reading this long ass thing if yu actually did . ;-)