alice in wonderland . .

i walk alone in the darkness on the sidewalks of life . street lights briefly pass me by & illuminate that darkness only to become black again . i see a figure cloaked with shadows in the distance ; i walk towards it . " who are you ? " i ask it . the figure starts to run when i begin to get too close to it . naively ; i follow . taking corners into alleyways & side streets . it seems to know what i'm going to do before i do it . wait , i just seen this sign , that building . " your going in circles ! " i say to it . i can hear it snicker . i stop . why am i chasing it ? i turn to my left . nothing . i turn to my right . nothing . i look around ; there's nobody insight . its only me ; only me in the middle of this empty street . i turn around only to see that at the end of the street , the street lights begin to flicker , parallel to each other , 2 at a time , they shut off . the next 2 turn off . then the next . the darkness is coming for me . its getting closer . i have no choice but to run . i'm running away from the darkness ; the unknown . then i see that at the end of the street where i'm running to , the lights begin to turn off over there as well . nothing but darkness to the front , back & left of me , i'm forced to turn right . the street begins to look like a tunnel with lights on all the way to the end . i'm starting to loose my stamina ; I've been running for hours . i don't know where i am . i'm lost . i push my body & mind to the limit & keep running so that the darkness doesn't catch up with me . i don't how know long I've been running , but i find myself at a dead end . I've ran all this way to escape the shadows , & here i am , at this brick wall : my final destination . im cold , tired , hungry , & weak . i sit on the ground & rest . i close my eyes , just for a minute . when i reopen them , the darkness has finally caught up with me . i stand up & frantically search for a secret passage , door , or something . the pitch blackness is coming for me . i see something . something emerging from the darkness . it's the shadowy figure . it walks past me , & stops as the wall . after all this time , i have it right where i want it . i ask it to turn around ; no response . " TURN AROUND ! " i screamed & still nothing . the figure then slowly turns around as the shadows begin to disperse . i finally get a glimpse of who I've been chasing , only for me to look dead into its eyes in disbelief . its me .

I've been chasing myself .
trying to find me .
while running from the world .

One In The Same / Thank You Later . .

i was reading old posts from people in their blogs & came across one that i could fully connect to :


" I dnt usually complain. Ever . I bottle it in. A lot of people know nothing about me or what goes on behind the scenes. because any situation im faced with is dealt by me . I really dont even have anyone who i would openly tell everythin . I have trouble trustin . And many i did trust arent there anymore . So at the end of the day its me and the weight I carry on my chest . Even in my blogs I refrain from exposing it all . However i do feel as if this is my diary. So I may have my outbreaks. "


i can truely relate to this post ; down to every sentence & every word . its kinda weird that someone else wrote this , and its exactly how i feel .


i dnt have permission to use this , probably cudnt get it anyways .
so dnt worry about who the writer is .


so just consider this my post .

everything is not , as it seems . .

i wasnt gonna post this , but jeni told me that i shud always post my drafts , mistakes & ALL ; it feels better .

as human beings , we have the natural abilities to trust & to believe : to regard as right or true . im sure that everybody has experienced first hand that everything isn't as it seems . that has happened to me lately . im not going to elaborate as to what it's about because it " was inappropriate " , or something like that , when i stated how i felt before , in MY blog . anyways , back on topic . we can believe in many things , such as a religion , magic , aliens , people , friendships ect . yu believe in almost everything that yu see in everyday life , whether you know it or not ( to think or suppose something , is to believe ) . so before yu use this word again , just remember that in the middle of the word believe , is the word

LIE .

Dormire Per Sempre ( Sleep Forever ) . .

when people feel their day isn't going well , after a long day at work , or school , or both ; or even at the start of the day when they first wake up in the morning . people turn to sleep to help solve their problems of the day . most people find that it's better & easier to sleep away the problems of life , than actually face them . sleeping is a temporary getaway or escape from the everyday . sleep is a place where worries don't exist . sleeping is a way to avoid & hide from problems ; but by doing that , it doesn't help make them go away . problems & obstacles are never conquered until confronted . if problems aren't ever dealt with , they will never go away & most likely worsen over time . & what about naps ? some people turn to naps as well . napping is a miniature form of sleeping . napping comes into play wen people feel tired after what they endured during the course of the day . so if the world could solve all of its' problems wit a nap ; the whole world would be forever asleep .